If only you knew how much it affects me. I may not say it, I may not show it. But yes, I do have feelings. Yes, I do get affected.
You don't know how lucky you are in the sense that I actually care a lot. But sometimes, I wonder why I even try changing how I normally am over someone who's not even mine. It's something I never do. And even if that someone is mine, I still don't care this much. As it is, I have trust issues. I'm willing to overlook and accept your past. Even though I now know how you really are. Okay. Maybe not really are. Even though I know how you are now, I still am not avoiding you. I still care. I still like you. I let you do things I've never let anyone do to me. Not even when they were with me.
All my first times were given to you. And you're not even mine. Okay. Call me old-fashioned or whatever. I still believe in "having intimate things with that special someone." Ahh. I don't know. Like you always tell me, "We're not together." So, I don't have the right to be jealous or hurt if you have a girl stay over at your place. Not to mention, it's your ex that you can't get over. I don't know what to feel. When you told me, it was just an "oh. okay. have fun." expression..feeling..whatever you call it. I'ma just go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens.
